video games. food. taco bell.
video games. food. taco bell.
Illustration for article titled Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise!

For what I’m about to bestow upon you all, I am sorry. I’ve created a monster.

I was invited to a pot luck a while back. Rather than be the typical bachelor and bring beer or a bottle of liquor, I decided to make something. Against my better judgment, this is what I decided to make:

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I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.

What Is This?

Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise! I got the name from South Park but had no idea if there was an actual recipe for it. I thought one up and made it. In regards to what’s actually in it- two of the four main ingredients are in the name. The other two are a surprise!

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How Did This Happen?

Science combined with my unhealthy love for... well, I would say food but really anything edible, inspired this ungodly creation. This shouldn’t exist but being American usually gets the best of me. Once I thought it up, it had to be done.

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Why?

Because I’m an idiot.

I’m not proud of what I did but it happened and I have to live with that every day for the rest of my life. So without further ado: Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise!

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***BEWARE: CALORIE COUNT UNKNOWN***

Start by making three large, dinner plate-sized pancakes.

Layer One: Take a pancake and lightly butter it. Proceed to cover said pancake with Nutella (surprise ingredient one!). Once the pancake is covered with a good 1/4 inch layer of Nutella, sprinkle on two tablespoons of brown sugar and then sprinkle a pinch of coarse sea salt.

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Layer Two: Take a second pancake, lightly butter it and stack it on top of that first pancake. Now spread an equally thick layer of peanut butter (surprise ingredient two!) over it. I like Jif reduced fat (“like” -it’s more of an addiction) because it’s actually sweeter than regular peanut butter.

Check out the sugar content (under carbohydrates) on the nutrition label of any reduced fat peanut butter and compare to a regular jar. There will be more sugar in the reduced fat one. This is because fat contains most of the flavor. If they’re subtracting flavor, they’ll add sugar to make up for it.

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It is both impressive and pathetic that I know peanut butter to this degree.

Sprinkle another two tablespoons of brown sugar over the peanut butter and then evenly space mini powdered donuts on top of all that. See the picture below for a general reference of where you should be:

Pancake, butter, Nutella, brown sugar, pancake, butter, peanut butter, brown sugar, mini powdered donuts.
Pancake, butter, Nutella, brown sugar, pancake, butter, peanut butter, brown sugar, mini powdered donuts.
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Layer Three: Lightly butter the third pancake and place it on top of the mini powdered donuts. Spread raspberry preserves over the top of and dust it with powdered sugar. See reference directly below:

Layer 3.
Layer 3.
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Topping: Top with a large, warm glazed donut. After it’s placed, fill the hole of the with more raspberry preserves. Optional garnishes include maple syrup and/or crumbled bacon.

So this is it.

3 pancakes, many donuts and a couple surprises.
3 pancakes, many donuts and a couple surprises.
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So Martha.
So Martha.

Looking back on my arrival with this abomination is painful. Comments such as “It’s... certainly interesting” “you made that?” and “my heart’s slowing down just from looking at it” come back to me.

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Maybe next time I’ll just bring alcohol.

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